HOME OF THE 2012, 2013, 2013/2014, 2015/2016,2019 AND 2022 PREMIER LEAGUE CHAMPIONS AND THE FIRST WINNERS OF THE THURSDAY TRIOS. ALSO 2014 NATIONAL DIVISION “B” RUNNERS UP AND ALSO FEATURING NORFOLK INTER COUNTIES CHAMPIONSHIP SQUAD MEMBERS DANNY FRAZER AND MATT PROCTOR AND ENGLAND TRIPLE CROWN GOLD MEDALIST AND CURRENT NORFOLK CELEBRITY ALEX PATES.
APRIL 25th 2024 - WEEK 20.
IT’S A WIN DESPITE THAT PESKY SCRUDGE....A BIT OF BLIND PANIC ON THE STATIONARY
BUS....
Week 20 is upon us and by my reckoning and a quick look at Mr Fraser’s dodgy fixture list there are only 9 weeks to go in this exciting (?) season of Thursday trios action which includes tonight. I’m not quite sure how many times we will have to play certain teams as apparently he lost the dice when sorting out the remaining fixtures following the sad demise of Spare Necessities and those straws were not quite as effective. Then come June 20th it will be a wait and see as to whether or not we will be returning on June 27th for another season and the jury is still well and truly out and having a cheese and chutney sandwich as we speak....or read....you know what I mean. Even at just a trios most teams have sadly struggled to get three here and that is indeed the case once again tonight and it involves both our teams, but more about that in a moment. Classics seem to be putting themselves in a really strong position in both tables and you would think from this position with those nine weeks to go it is there’s to lose but then funny things do sometimes happen on a Thursday night.....like laughter, enjoyment and some high scores but sadly not all at the same time.
WLB jumped up into second place following last week and they will be aiming to stay there as they welcome Pinball Wizards to the graveyard although sadly for them they are one short. Trossachs.....no I’m not using any bad language in showing my frustration at them being a player short but it has certainly not helped their cause as Teresa McCarthy is up in Scotland representing her country in the Senior triple crown and we wish her well and she has her family with her which means daughter Olivia is also doing a bit of a highland fling. Matt Locke failed a fitness test on a calf injury and misses out but I think not bowling due to a poorly young cow is a bit of a poor excuse and I just hope that the pride of Derbyshire isn’t milking it. So that leaves just Steve Utting and Steph Goldspink playing for them with the latter settling down now following her mid season big nectar points transfer from Necessities and of course they are joined by that ever increasingly popular support act the blind. We dont have too many options at the moment so will be running with Martyn, Mark and Bruno once again as we try to keep hold of Classics shirt tails.
Game 1 sees Bruno lead the way with a 200 exactly as we win 6-2 with Martyn coming in with a 178 but Mark misses out by a single pin to Steph (180-179) with a last ball eight not helping his cause but it is alright for starters.
The less said about game two the better really as the graveyard takes its toll and we grind out a dreadful 4-4 draw, Steve is the exception to the rule for Wizards as he rolls back the years to great days in Aylesbury with a superb 222 but that was about it as the rest all struggle although Martyn and Mark both still win but Bruno’s worst of the season against Steve sees the overall slip away by 13.
There is a degree of normality restored in game three as we take a 6-2 win for an overall 22-10 victory to keep us in second place in the table. Steve once again shows us how to do it as he completes his best night for ages with a 220 whilst for us Mark bounces back from a pretty ordinary night by his standards to roll a 216 and despite losing Bruno comes in with a 193 whilst Martyn does the bizz again against the blind. Mark tops for us with a 557 with Bruno coming in with a 542 and Steve tops the nights scoring for Wizards with a 621 but not for the first time a blind cost a team dear.
WHB went into their top of the table clash against Classics only having two bowlers as Scott was working and Jai had to call off late in the day due to a family illness and we wish them all well of course. It is just one of those things as we know that family and life are far more important than bowling so it will be Matt, Kieran and of course our old friend the blind to face up to James, Chris and Roy with Gaz away at an Amish festival which includes how to build a better barn, stopping cart wheels from squeaking and how to clean a full brimmed black hat.....lucky boy.
It is a really poor start in game one which for Kieran is quite normal but it does sees us lose 6-2 with Matt grabbing the only points with a 174. Predictably, James tops for Classics with a 222 but they hardly uprooted any trees either but it’s the points that count.....eh Chris?
It’s 6-2 again in game two with Kieran bouncing back to win this time with a 190 as he hides up Roy’s rubber hand to help but Matt, like Bruno, chooses tonight to roll his worst of the season and Classics jumped all over it courtesy of Chris 218 and a James 201 to leave the score at 12-4.
Now you would have got good odds on who would be high man in game three with probably only the blind having higher odds but after finding that hand hidden in Kieran’s bag Roy rolls the evenings top game of 235 as he leads Classics to another 6-2 win for an overall 26-6 victory. Matt does salvage some personal pride with a 206 but there was no singing of that timeless old child’s favourite “the wheels on the bus go round and round”. In fact rumours have it that it was renamed on Thursday to “the wheels on the bus have seized”.....not quite the same ring to it would you not agree? All I will say about the finish is Matt had his worst and Kieran hit a certain holy grail whilst for Classics James rolled a 612, Roy an impressive 569 and Chris a 564 as title hopes for WHB seem to have been left on that stationary bus.
NEXT WEEK.
Top of the table time....Time for a top chat or two....
MAY 2nd 2024 WEEK 21.
PINBALL WIZARDS V EAGLES
CLASSICS V POLEFUSION WLB
POLEFUSION WHB V
TEN X
LEAGUE ROUND UP
The other fixture saw old rivals Ten X and Eagles lock horns and despite Ten X winning 21-11 it did represent the continuing point’s improvement for Eagles and they got off the bottom of the handicap table in the process. Gary Fraser led his team well with a curious YDTM (in association with D Giles and sponsored by B Warnes) 225-559 whilst there was a collector’s item clash at number two where Ash Coleman and Adrian Nabarro not only finished equal on the overall but also shared the Smith award during the evening.
Average game was a disappointing 172.66 although we still had two 600’s and a splattering of 200 games.
As I finish writing
this it is congratulations to Teresa McCarthy and fellow county bowler Kim
Johnson who both bagged medals in the Senior Triple Crown playing for
England....well done to you both.
THE FBG FILES (SPONSORED BY JASON T CROOK SCHOOL OF LANGUAGES).
Number 22 of the season was recorded as a certain Kieran
Hinchliffe clocked up his fourth of the season to
date to complete what was a bus crash of a night for him personally.
I’m now off to enjoy this
wonderful weather we are experiencing........SEE
YA.
POMPEY......FOR
LIFE.....NOT FOR GLORY.
POLEFUSION GLOSSARY OF TERMS.
OXO= Last person to
strike each game.
HO= Missing the 6-10 spare in any combination....the House Open.
BOL=The 8-10 split....the
Ball Of
Legends. (See M
Winter).
JASON= Last person to strike and being hung on the
same ball....The full Monty.....or Belmonte hence Jason.
SILVER HO= Missing the 6-10 spare in the same frame
as being last to strike.
GOLDEN HO= Missing the 6-10 spare in the same
frame as being hung and the last to strike.
CHINESE BOL= The 7-9 split.
BIGGADYKE= The 4-9 split.
JAIL BALL= Missing the 4 or
7 pin with a fast straight ball (Applies only to J Buller).
WANG HO= Missing the 6 pin with a fast straight
ball (Also only applies to J Buller).
YDTM= Two good games
and a crap third, although the third is not often mentioned unless piss take is
involved......eg...238, 220- 602......hence You Do The
Maths. (sponsored by D Giles).
BILLY WARNES= See Above.
SPALDING=
The 4-6-7-9-10 split (Commonly used by Scott). Cheap
overseas versions also exist.
NOAH= The 2-4-6-7-8-10 or the 3-4-6-7-9-10 split. In homage to
Noah Spalding and may include compulsory wearing of red shoes.
PPTP = PISS POOR TEAM
PERFORMANCE.
OBE = Opens Basically Every week (Applies only to P Punter)
CBE = Chats Basically Every week (Applies only to M Green and B Green)
BLAH, BLAH = See Above.
ZANTE BALL = Ask any of the infamous six.
FBG = FIRST BALL
GUTTER. (sponsored by Jason T Crook school of
languages).
MANKINI BALL= 5-7.....probably best not to ask M
Proctor about it.
#PARKLIKESPALDING= Atrocious parking usually
involving a red car or a white works van and although usually seen at the bowl
can occur almost anywhere.
WOODEN = SHOOTING A THREE (usually with a ball to the
right) following a run of consecutive strikes.
CRUMMETT= HAVING AN FBG AFTER A TURKEY (not to be
confused with a WOODEN).
GIBBS TRADEGY= THREE CONSECUTIVE FBG’S FOLLOWED BY
A SPARE (not to be confused with a WOODEN or a CRUMMETT)........VERY RARE.
AMISH = FOUR STRIKES FOLLOWED BY AN FBG ( IF SCORE HAS TO BE CHANGED THEN IT IS A PREMIUM AMISH).
Only for males including Gaz.
BETTS= SELECTION OF FBG’S INCLUDING ONE ON
ANOTHER PAIR OF LANES. (May not be seen again as virtually
extinct).
GOLDEN WHITTAKER = 10 IN A ROW FOLLOWED BY AN FBG
WHICH IS SPARED. (Collector’s item and is priceless).
(YOPS)= Yarmouth and Ormesby Porn
Star. Applies only to Adrian Warne(S)
although Nigel Brown once thought he had a CHANCE
of being it.....Fat Chance actually.....
BECK= Usually shouted out in
homage to Martyn Beck when the 1-2-4-10 is left........see also twang and
truss. Richard Beck is the 1-2-4-6-10......or the fat Beck.
#SPAREITORWEARIT=
leaving the 3-10.
SMILEY KYLIE= A four bagger followed by an FBG for
a female.......
UNA= The 3-4-10 split also known as an animated spare.........usually
comes with a pan faced expression.
TWANG= Pocket 9 pin leave usually accompanied by a
ferocious banging of the approach.
TWONG= As above but
leaving the 8 pin and minus the approach banging.
RICHMOND= 3,6,7,9,10 split.......as used exclusively by Matt Richmond.
WOR JACKIE= 4,9,10
split......almost extinct.
RUDDERLESS= An FBG
followed by an FBG second ball thus nothing for the frame.....maybe a one
off.
FINALLY, MAY I JUST
SAY THAT IF YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT WHAT POLEFUSION
BRUNO. xx
STAT ATTACK. (SCRATCH)
TONIGHTS AVERAGE GAME WAS 172.66..... THERE
WERE 2 600’s and 10
200 PLUS GAMES....
SEASONS TOTALS
200’s 223
(20.6%)
600’s 46 (12.7 %)
700’s 2 (0.5%)
800’s 0 (0%)
SUB
500 SERIES 2113 (31.23 %)
% OF BOWLERS OVER AND UNDER NIGHTLY
LEAGUE AVERAGE. (517)
OVER = 50.0% (9)
UNDER = 50.0% (9)
|
Classics (1745) (2102) 26/30 (James Tidd 612 (657), Roy E Munson 569 (755), Chris Smith 564 (690)) |
Polefusion #WHB (1406) (1757) 6/2 (Matt Proctor 523 (601), Kieran Hinchliffe 463 (586), Blind 420 (570)) |
|
Eagles (1481) (2066) 11/22 (Andy Shingles (out?)
514 (661), Dave Holt 496 (709), Ash Coleman 471 (696)) |
Ten X (1555) (2044) 21/10 (Gary Fraser 559 (685), Dave North (dtw) 525 (702), Adrian Nabarro 471 (657)) |
|
Pinball Wizards (1531) (1966) 10/10 (Steve Utting 621 (783), Steph Goldspink 490 (613), Blind420 (570)) |
Polefusion #WLB (1606) (1969) 22/22 (Mark Winter 557 (656), Ian Brown 542 (653), Martyn Beck 507 (660)) |
WEEKLEY HONOURS
BOARD.
|
THE MATT
AUSTIN BOWLER OF THE
WEEK |
STEVE UTTING |
Scrudged it with ease... |
|
HIGH GAME |
ROY E MUNSON 235 |
|
|
HIGH
SERIES |
STEVE UTTING 621 |
|
|
PPI SHOCKER OF THE WEEK |
KIERAN HINCHLIFFE |
The bus is now SORN.. |
|
ENTERTAINER OF THE WEEK |
THE DARTS |
Got the most cheers... |
|
SMITH AWARD 97 |
ASH COLEMAN & AIDS NABARRO 133 |
Opponents on the night.... |
|
YDTM OF THE WEEK |
GARY FRASER |
Tigerish showing..... |
THIS WEEK’S TOP 5:
|
GAME |
SERIES |
|
ROY E MUNSON 235 |
STEVE UTTING 621 |
|
GARY FRASER 225 |
JAMES TIDD 612 |
|
STEVE UTTING 222 + 220 |
ROY E MUNSON 569 |
|
JAMES TIDD 222 + 201 |
CHRIS SMITH 564 |
|
CHRIS SMITH 218 |
GARY FRASER 559 |
LEAGUE TABLE......WEEK 20. SCRATCH..
|
# |
Team |
Pin fall |
Points |
|
1 |
CLASSICS |
30,691
|
417 |
|
2 |
POLEFUSION
#WLB |
30,127
|
372 |
|
3 |
POLEFUSION#WHB |
29,839 |
352 |
|
4 |
APS PINBALL
WIZARDS |
27,797 |
233 |
|
5 |
TEN X |
27,318 |
232 |
|
6 |
EAGLES |
26,311 |
128 |
|
7 |
|
LEAGUE TABLE......WEEK 20 HANDICAP.. .
|
Pos |
Team |
Pin fall |
Points |
|
1 |
CLASSICS |
36,947 |
373 |
|
2 |
POLEFUSION #WLB |
36,427 |
308 |
|
3 |
APSPINBALL WIZARD |
36,331 |
295 |
|
4 |
TEN X |
35,965 |
266 |
|
5 |
EAGLES |
36,208 |
243 |
|
6 |
POLEFUSION
#WHB |
35,679 |
243 |
|
7 |
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